The Death Trap

Well..there she is folks, what we fondly call the death trap. This stove has no ignition, as a result, we've been using so-called 'safe lighters' to light the stove top and oven. Alot of wonderful events have happened as a result. The best event was the day that the Frenchman was trying to light the oven with a 'safe lighter' and was singed by a great ball of fire as it flew into his face. After trying to light the oven and turn the gas on and off for 20 minutes, we didn't realize until then that this, indeed, is a little bit more dangerous than we previously thought. Don't worry, the Frenchman was fine, apart from his hair which burned off. Apparently he needed a haircut, so he was pleased-less money to spend.
As for the stove top, this has become our latest pet-peeve. Again using 'safe lighters' to light the elements, we end up nearly getting ourselves burned whenever we try to light them. Be, especially, careful if you wear long-sleeves and you intend to cook something on our stove. You might be learning to drop-and-roll before you even begin!
Now, you might ask, why do we keep this stove if we find it to be a life and death adventure every night when we cook our dinners. Well..the advantages of keeping this death machine is that every night 'we're living on the edge'-we don't know who's going to survive or not. We have a bit of a lottery to see who'll get burned-normally, everyone bets on the scotsman. But he seems to have avoided the death trap so far. He's a wiley one that one. The other advantage of having such a machine is that it allows us to practice fire safety and prevention methods. Without the death trap, we would never feel 'safe' in our own homes.
Anyway, 'til tomorrow, I hope...